realization....it's a beautiful thing

i have come to my senses. yes people. jan has come to her senses. and yes, you are hearing this for the 100th time from me now? but this time it's for real. REAL. im not going back on it this time. yes i have to admit that it took me about a year to realize this, and also a movie+ a book, but thats just the beautiful truth. why is it beautiful? cos i FINALLY realized. it's not like realization never took place. so yes. im happy all this happened. cos i now know, that im better than all the shit he threw at me. i deserve better. im not narcissistic. but i know im better than all that. it's amazing how much a movie, he's just not that into you and also the same book can do! wonders i tell you! to most of you out there this whole movie book and realization thing may sound so ridiculous, but it's just the truth. and plus, it makes sense. and the extra plus point, it actually makes me feel good about myself! so what more could i ask for?! the only thing im bummed about is not listening to my friends when they told me he wasn't worth any shit. damn. but hey! now i know! and i love u guys!

ladies out there, im so happy now, i wanna share it with all of you! this book, "he's just not that into you" is so extremely amazing! you HAVE to read it! especially if you guys sense something not right with your man, or if your crush just isn't paying you enough attention. here's a few helpful tips from the book/movie ,in case u guys havn't read/watched it yet....

1) He's not into you if he's not asking you out.

 ladies, it may be the fucking 21st century, but don't fucking ask the guy out. if he is really interested in you, he will make the effort. and when a guy gives you his number instead of asking for yours, politely take his number, and then, flush it down the toilet. cos, you are only giving him a chance to reject you when you make the attempt to call him. so screw him. if he is into you, he will ask you out, he will ask for your number. he will make the damned move and the damned effort.

2) He's not into you you if he's not calling you.

ladies, when the guy doesn't return your call, it's not because he's busy, but because he's not into you. that means you, yes you! the pretty thing reading this, you my friend are not on his mind. and this doesn't mean you can call him. don't call him. if u were really on his mind, he will call you. (ps. when it comes to guys, busy actually means asshole) if he stood you up on a date, and didn't call, it is cause he is an asshole. who are you kidding? he wasn't that busy to actually forget to give u damned phone call and cancel. he is just an asshole. stop making excuses for this asshole! go find a man with an asshole that is actually on his ass and not all over him!

3) He's not that into you if he's disappeared.

so the guy doesn't call or email you anymore. he's just disappeared! what do you do??? you start making excuses..."maybe he's busy with school/work?", "maybe his dog died and so he's fallen into depression and now he just wants to be alone?", maybe he got hit by a truck????" oh no! *gasps* these were the insanely lame excuses i used to come up with. but now, i know. he's just not into me! so just get over the asshole and find another guy ok! (that wasn't a suggestion, but an order!)

4) He's just not into you if he's is selfish.

when all the guy ever does is talk about himself, it means he is into himself, not you. he just wants you there to listen to his super lame stories and he makes u go ga-ga over him. shut your mouth ladies! your saliva is oozing out and that just ain't pretty! go find yourself a man who is willing to listen to you. it should be a give and take situation. you don't keep taking nonsense from a guy who isn't worthy of your time and effort! u have to give some of your nonsense too! ;) so screw this guy and go find another!

i just feel so happy and contented right now :)

i deserve so much more better. and i finally see it. screw bio boii. he wasn't worth any shit from the beginning. i was just seeing what i wanted to see. but now, i know better. he just wasn't into me. and im ok with that. cos this frees me, to stop obsessing over him and just go find something else/someone else to take up my time and effort.

but whatever, i never have regrets. so i did a few things, not exactly blunders, but i was blaming myself when he avoided me because i thought it was all my fault. but now i know. he just was never into me, and he ignoring me and all that was his way of conveying the message. i just misread the "signs". haha.....looking back at all this, it makes me wanna laugh my silly head off. oh oh oh! i deleted his number from my contact list! i blocked him on msn! i deleted whatever msg-es he sent me before! and i also deleted the stupid on9 conversations i had with him =.=. i feel so silly now to think that i actually saved fucking on9 convo's! wtf was i thinking??? anyway, i never wanna have anything to do with him anymore. cos now, im into him no more babeh! ;)

PS: im very very super the happy for krunz cos she sees the light just as i did! haha!