cheng and i paid a visit to monash today! i know what you guys are probably thinking, that i might have talked to bio boii and made some kinda move right...that is if i bumped into him la...
well, guess what, we passed by each other twice, but we never looked or spoke to each other. WTF is wrong with me?!? im so fucking annnoyed and pissed with myself. i know i said i would talk to him the next time i see him, but i just couldn't! and to make things even worse, he was touring the campus with a girl! i know i know she might just be a friend, but i can't help being depressed. im so fucking screwed up. so much for he being the one with issues. i have major confidence issues to deal with here. and this is just going to be a MAJOR problem. im so annoyed with myself right now i don't know what to do. i need some self esteem booster. right now! im feeling so down right now. i know krunz will want to throw all her thick med books at me. i feel like hitting myself. *hits self*
damn, what is wrong with me? i know i always say that i don't care about what people think, but the thing is i do! i hate to admit this but i fucking do care about what people think and i hate myself for this. i really need to change my thinking. im so bloody screwed up im never getting a chance with anybody if i don't give it a shot. i just have to take a chance. i have to. there is no point in just complaining and not doing anything to fix this major issue! yes, i have to do something....i just need people to tell me that what im doing is alright and not screwed up. sigh.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
broken
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5 comments:
ok...so now since the situation has gotten more serious, i'm gonna be brutally honest. if u really like him, for f*cking sake go and start talking to him. 2 reasons:
1. then you'll get to know him better and it helps you cos then you'll know if this is just a passing crush kinda thing, or something more than a crush. sometimes u may think that u really really are 'IN' to him, but then when u start talkin to him etc, you may realise you jus thought he was cute and interesting thats all. just like a challenge to urself indirectly. i know this cos i was like this last time. i like guys and really feel like crzy over them, but when i get to know them, and they slowly get to know me, i jus somehow stop liking them. it jus wasn for real know what i mean? unconsciously, i was just interested in the guy cos i was a) desperate for attention, b) wanted to know what he thinks of me, c) a challenge to myself to make him like me then after that forget him. yea it was kinda mean of me last time but honestly its true.
2. Now you are so far only interested/liking him cos of him outward appearance and cos he 'seems' nice and bla bla bla. when u start talkin to him, maybe u might find out more abt him that u may not really like. there's more than meets the eye my dear so don't judge a book by its cover. if he really isnt that 'great' as u think he is, u better find out FAST before he takes up too much of ur brain space. i think he is a blithering idiot to not at least say hi to u or acknowledge u, which is why i so far dun find him that much use at all. rude jackass. ungentlemanly. so what if the idiot is good looking. he's a walking brad pitt with no brains.
so there u go, my advice to u :)
p.s - i really really really am worried that he's taking up too much of ur precious time, so pls dun angry at me for being too blunt k :) besides, u like me for my straightforwardness rite xD
babe..im not mad or anything. i absofuckinglutely love you for your bluntness and straightforwardness. thanks so much...strange, but i really needed to hear exactly what u said. kinda relieved a bit :)
im just gonna do something, like start talking, if it doesnt fucking work out, screw him. seriously. im gonna be a real bitch now.i love you so bloody much. thanks dear =)
yup jus start talkin and see where it leads to k. if it's to be, then it will be :)*hugs!* all the best!
jan!!!chill!!pls just chill man..and i sooo super totally agree with wad your friend ms.enxhious said.. =)
really go talk to him and get it over with..trust me once you get that over with things will be waaaaaay better..this i know from experience ya.. =P so yea..all the best to you on this ok..but pls babe..breathe and chill..dont let this affect you so super much..or i will so very send him flying for making you like this!hehe..always here for you!xOxO!rmbr you will never know if you dont try..that way you will have no regrets..mwax!eh better find driving force in VU la..atleast then you semangatly go to uni!hehe..
i love you guys so much. i really do:) thanks so bloody much. the next time i get a chance, im so gonna do it.i dun wana be hitting myself anymore..haha..neither do i want to live with what ifs.... or not i will never know. and whatever happens just has to happen la...
LOVE U GUYS BUNCHES!!!!
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